Have you ever walked into a room and thought, “Ugh. The vibes in here are…rancid” before anyone even spoke? Babe, you’re not imagining things. According to scientific research, negative vibes are real, measurable, and deeply annoying.

What Are Negative Vibes, Anyway?

In technical terms, negative vibes are low-frequency emotional emissions released when a human is chronically stressed, aggressively pessimistic, spiritually crusty, or has simply not had a snack.

Those big, beautiful brains of yours are an electric powerhouse, not only for thoughts and feelings, but turning the gears in your body! As such, scientists believe the body sends out emissions that communicate these vibes, especially in our sweat and pheromones. Chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline radiate in what we casually call ‘whack vibes’, communicating that someone is mad and bitter, and dragging down everyone else’s sparkle.

Basically, it’s like emotional secondhand smoke.

Emotional Contagion: Catching the Ick

But why does someone else’s bad mood ruin your day?

It’s because brains are mirroring machines. When someone near you is radiating bad vibes, your brain subconsciously tries to sync up and match their energy. Have you ever gotten into an argument, and you find yourself raising your voice alongside your opponent? Has your bestie ever been sad, and that makes you cry too?

This phenomenon is called Emotional Contagion. That’s why one negative coworker can ruin an entire brunch with their subpar writing. It’s not drama. It’s neuroscience, sweetie!

Why Some People Are Vibe Magnets

Ever notice how some people attract chaos like it’s a hobby? Have you ever been one of these people? Are you repeatedly told ‘you’re too sensitive’ and would like to stop being sensitive?

According to research, what makes you an emotional adrenaline junky is the fact that you’re an empath. Empaths are known for being highly creative, intuitive, and emotionally aware, but it also means that negativity slips in easier. This is not a flaw. This means you are powerful and need better energetic boundaries…and maybe noise-canceling headphones.

To counteract negative vibes, Brainy Babes! recommends:

January 27th, 5773

The last I reported on Viaticus, we talked about their secret venture (Project Noah), and its possibility of antagonizing all of humanity. A point that was immediately proven when they emailed me asking for details on their whistleblower, publicly denounced me to undermine the truth of my reporting, and otherwise tattled on me to my superior—but I digress. As Viaticus becomes bolder in its mission, and consequently our reliance on them, that possibility has become reality.

On January 10th, Viaticus Inc. released a peppy tour video of their several colonies. Much like they were bleach-smiled realtors selling homes for nuclear families, and not a private corporation of space colonizers. If you need further convincing on the upcoming apocalypse, Viaticus has done us the favor of finally admitting it themselves. You know, after giving me so much grief.

​"For the most severe offenders, death-row inmates are transferred to the Scarlet Stockades on Mars, where they will meet a humane and natural end," quoted from Viaticus Galaxy Tour! With Mars being farther from the Sun than Earth is, Viaticus confesses that we'll be caught in the blast. Of course, this news only (finally) arises in passing, dressed up in a little tidbit that those who "deserve" it will also die. Fear not, for Viaticus already has a system of execution in place, before they've even told you we're all in line to begin with! How quaint and not-at-all morbid!

Underneath its grinning veneer, a keen eye would also see the priority in military, labor for resources, and most importantly--money.

Not even getting into the impossibly “””low””” price of fifty million per person, your chances are even worse if you "do not meet standard medical evaluations." What does that exactly mean? Is Viaticus taking into account your age and weight, when they consider if you have the right to escape planetary destruction? If you’ve lived somewhat longer than middle aged? Forget it, you’ve lived long enough. Got anxiety? You’re about to get a whole lot more. Taller than the average human? A little chubby? A bodybuilder? Lucky for you, those extra calories will be burned right off!

​Don’t get me started on the prerequisite on a spotless criminal record, either. If that sounds comforting to you, you’re part of the problem. With the vague wording of the disclaimer—a tactic commonly used to pick and choose when to apply severity, often based on biased factors—it could be said that anyone in your family having a troubled past could bar you from entry. Or that something as inconsequential as a speeding ticket or a misdemeanor could damn you to a fiery death.

Read that again. A fiery death. The oceans have already evaporated. Our atmosphere is shedding itself. The time has come that our sun is dying, where we’ll meet the same ‘humane and natural end’ that Viaticus romanticizes when it comes to their prison on Mars. Already, they’re treating us like undesirables to eradicate.

What Viaticus tells us is that there’s some humans less deserving of living. That a very specific—and large—percentage of humanity are too inconvenient to carry up with them, on their highest of high horses. Too weak. Too broken. Too complicated. Not profitable enough for all the resources it will take to keep us alive. 8 billion people on Earth, and only 1% will see the future.

You play God, Nathan Tethers.

All you care about is money and power and being ugly. You look our way, and don’t even see us. We’re not on your radar, unless we have something impressive and sensational to interest you. 

​And you use it to kill us.

January 14th, 5773

​Ah, apocalyptic prophecies. They make good disaster-movie fodder, sure, but it feels like there’s a new final-weekend every weekend! As far back as the beginning of civilization, we’ve been subjected to visions of doomsday events. Noah’s Ark, anybody? Not only that, but three men—Hippolytus of Rome, Sextus Julius Africanus, and Irenaeus—all predicted Jesus would return in 500 CE, based on the dimensions of said Ark. That, following his return, all us Christians would be obviously dying to meet him. No, like, literally. We’d all drop dead to meet the Lord, a sort of gruesome eagerness that’d call for a Baker Act in modern times.
​
Of course, you’re here, reading this, so you know the ending of this story already. When it didn’t happen, Sextus Julius Africanus changed his prediction from 500 CE to 800 CE. Conveniently when he wouldn’t be around to face how wrong he was, for a second time.

This is one of the first recorded cases of the end-times being predicted, only to consequentially change when that ending didn’t rear its ugly head. It wouldn’t be the last, however. All the way to this year and the very next, people have been shamelessly envisioning and re-envisioning our gruesome demise.

Keeping on theme with our brand, I have to wonder why there’s such a scarce number of women that see the end of the world with such enthusiasm and nigh stubbornness, but that’s a different article for a different day. On this day, I’m reporting on the possibility of a real doomsday.

“Oh, Jenny. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,” you may be thinking, shaking your head, waggling your finger, “You literally just cited that people have been doing this for as long as human speech has existed. Are you nuts?”

Now, I know, but hear me out. The difference is that this doesn’t come from any conspiracy theorist. It doesn’t come from any religious organization. It doesn’t come from any pseudo-historians. Numbers are not cobbled together with superstition, here.

Rather, a reputable source from Viaticus Inc. has come forward with information regarding a classified project that seeks to trickle Earth’s population onto their stations and colonies. Perhaps this doesn’t come as overtly shocking to those in the know, as Viaticus Inc. was founded in year 5758 by the Tethers dynasty, funded by governing bodies and 1% influencers alike, for the express purpose of colonizing space. In a way, they’ve already been welcoming non-employees there, with billionaires paying blush-worthy prices to purchase a vacation home with vacuum views.

The thing is, the secrecy of this classified project implies a sort of urgency. A state of emergency that Viaticus Inc. (and, by extension, the governing bodies that fund them) refuse to comment on or commit to. It’s no secret that our Sun has swollen into a fat red pimple, ready to pop. Does anybody recall that particular 6th grade science class, about the life cycle of stars? “It won’t happen for another billion years,” our teachers used to say. In reassurance, of all things to feel, our descendants lives far enough away for them to be comfortable in complacency. Then, thousands. Then, hundreds. Perhaps they felt the same doomsday fatigue we all do when another end-of-the-world speech is upon us, even knowing there’s a truth to it, because they certainly wouldn’t be alive to see it.

Only Viaticus ever cared, but the problem is, they’re only taking that exclusive guestlist with them. So says Viaticus' Project Noah.

The Earth is made up of something like 8 billion people, with new ones born every day. What of the ones that don’t have the funds? The disabled and elderly that can’t travel the distance? The children? Will there be room for them, on Viaticus’ Ark?​

January 27th, 5772

The heatwave continues, which can be a big downer for those hoping for a sassy snow day! We mourn the missed opportunities of pumpkin spice lattes and cute sweater action. But this is where us Brainy Babes put our minds into action, as we tell you how you can enjoy all the aesthetics of holiday season while still avoiding the heat! Follow our tips, and you'll forget all about those high Fahrenheit's and Celsius'!

Create Something Beautiful!
Take your Instagram to the next level with some artsy shots, create a cool collage from your favorite magazines, or even try your hand at painting. Even if you can't enjoy sweater weather outside, that doesn't mean you can't try your hand at modeling, either! The way you see the world is unique and cool, so share that vision with the world!

Sleep Under the Stars!
No campground or plans to go camping on the horizon? Set up a tent in your own back yard. Too hot for the back yard? Cut out paper stars and hang them from your living room ceiling with string and tape, then invite your crew over for an indoors campout. And don’t forget the S’Mores—they’re delish whether they’re made over a roaring campfire or in the microwave!

Read A Good Book!
Keep your brain muscle beefy by gathering your favorite novels, or visiting your local library for a new one, and having a read-a-thon! Challenge yourself by seeing how fast you can finish a story! Are you missing the feeling of curling up with a good book by the window while it snows outside? Buy yourself a projector, and play some stock footage of snow!

Learn a Language!
Set aside a couple hours each week and learn the basics of another language—either the one spoken in the part of the world you’d like to visit most, or one that you’re simply interested in, like American Sign Language. Check out free apps, online videos, and your local library for books and other resources. You’ll impress friends when you show off your new skills and will be able to communicate with so many more interesting and cool people throughout your life.

Ready your fans and shorts, because these days, it feels like every season is hot girl summer. Don’t worry too much, though, because what that really means is that it’s always the right time to bust out your stylish summertime fits! Whether you're lounging by the pool or getting your tan on at the beach, there's nothing like soaking up the sun and showing off your best style.

​Make a statement with vibrant colors and fun patterns, accessorize with bold and beautiful jewelry, and keep cool under the shade of a wide-brimmed hat! It's time for a sexy summer!
Here are some tips for girls to combat the intense heat while staying cute:

• Wear lightweight clothes + Try to avoid dark or thick fabrics!

Not only are dark colors out of season for beach days, but dark colors tend to absorb more light, therefore converting to more heat! But why is that? This is where we prove we’re not just a pretty face!

To understand the heat absorption properties of dark clothing, we must first understand why such clothing appears dark in the first place. The color of a shirt is determined by which wavelengths of light get reflected back from that object.

When light hits an object, that light (known as white light) contains all visible wavelengths of light. A red shirt will thus appear red because it absorbs all of the wavelengths of light except for red, which reflects back to our eyes.

A white shirt reflects all of the wavelengths of light back to our eyes, absorbing none of them. A black shirt, on the other hand, absorbs all of the wavelengths of light, reflecting none of them back to our eyes.

As a black shirt absorbs all of the light that hits it, it converts that light into other forms of energy, usually heat. It then emits that heat, some into the environment and some directly into your skin. This is why people advise against wearing black or dark clothing on hot days, since it can make you hotter as it absorbs light and emits heat! Though, you’re already pretty hot!

For a cooler look, we recommend sassy pastels and breezy sleeves, so you can let all that heat out, girlfriend!

• Seek shelter from the sun in the midday hours, as exposure can lead to icky sunburn.

Sun rays look pretty when they glance between the clouds, like spotlights! But what they’re actually called is ‘Ultraviolet Radiation’. Controlled amounts of UV radiation is scientifically proven to be beneficial to human wellness. Get those tans in, because sunlight is known to increase the body’s vitamin-D supply, helping with bone health, blood pressure, immune system, and blood cells! Not to mention, fun in the sun is always the enemy of depression!
​
However, UV damage—what happens when humans receive too much sun—can occur even when there’s no obvious sunburn. And never truly heals. Imagine every time you’ve been in the sun and got a little freckled! From your very first sunburn in adolescence, UV damage builds, and increases your risk of skin cancer. So, get your tan on, but watch out for ugly moles!

• Drink plenty of water and stay hydrated!

I’m sure you all know that the human body is made up of 90% water. But why are we so often told to stay hydrated, when we naturally have so much aqua to spare?

Well, a nice cold glass of water not only improves your mood and keeps you cool, but the water we digest is absorbed and delivered to the cells. There, water provides nutrients, lubricates our joints, and puts some gas in our organs! All the more energy to have some beach fun! Just don't drink the sea water too!